There are days when I get extremely anxious and impatience with how my life is moving. I want so desperately to graduate and finish school once and for all, but certain credits transferred wrong. Sometimes I get impatient when I see other people dating and then I remember, "God has someone better for me." It's a constant battle with myself to be patient. One part knows the rewards, the other part doesn't care, it just wants results.
So how do we practice patience? Do I sit by a timer and wait for it to ding? Do I continue on in my daily rituals and hope that I overcome some of the battles in my head? God give me the strength to be patient. I need it more than ever. GAH! My impatience has caused me to dive into other people's lives and avoiding my own issues that I am waiting for God to answer. I have avoided certain feelings/emotions and replaced it with an unhealthy involvement in the drama that surrounds some friends. Partially, I must confess, it has to do with the fact that I want to have some of the attention from guys, but another part of it is that I kinda get sucked into it...willingly. I usually find myself backing out midway, which is good, but still too late. I like some of the drama that surrounds my friends, it makes my life seem exciting. Not exciting in a thrilling way, but in a normal, this is was people usually deal with kind of way. Part of it is that I don't want to face the reality that my dad is not doing well health wise and the other part is that I want an escape from a life that I have deemed unfair.
But patience. God tells me time and time again that I need to wait on Him. Some situations will pass. I will eventually meet my husband, on God's time and I will overcome many of these obstacles that prevent me from moving forward. I just need to learn patience.
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